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Cougars and black men

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Cougars And Black Men

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Thus, in both marriages and nonpermanent relationships, the trend is that men are typically older than their female counterparts. Though women are sometimes younger than their partners—entering "cougar" territory—, it is more likely that they will be involved with a younger man in a nonpermanent relationship, rather than a marriage.

Alarie proposes that negative reactions to cougar relationships are so strong because they violate long-standing social norms. For example, there is an assumption in Western culture that men value youth and beauty in a partner, while women value financial stability.

Men are also understood to have stronger sex drives than women and are expected to make the first contact, while women are encouraged to wait passively for men to choose them.

Finally, there's the idea that older women are expected to be asexual. Cougar behavior turns all of these norms on their heads. In Alarie's qualitative study of 59 women who had participated in cougar relationships, results showed that women had different experiences of social norms depending on their age.

For example, older women were less likely to be affected by the social discourse about cougar relationships, were less preoccupied than younger women were about how long the relationship would last, and were less worried about whether they would miss out on having children or losing their partners as they continued to age.

The meaning of the term "cougar" seems to vary with the speaker. On the positive side, cougars are associated with gender equality, an outgrowth of the sexual revolution, and the availability of reliable contraceptives, which have given women more freedom when choosing a partner.

They are also an explicit reflection that sexuality is not necessarily connected with childbearing. Moreover, an increase in status, education, and income means that a woman can establish herself as the more powerful party in a relationship should an unequal power dynamic be desired by both partners.

However, there is a considerable negative undertone prevalent in the media, particularly on internet sites such as askmen. Cougars are seen as predators of unwary men or victims of the cultural imperative to find value in their physical appearance.

There are many reasons why women might choose to enter into relationships that give them the "cougar" label. She may be less likely to have to eventually support her spouse physically or emotionally in their final years as his health declines, but would rather be cared for herself.

Women still do live longer than men, so it may be a rational choice to select a younger partner. Women also say that younger men appreciate their financial independence, their interest in sex, and their freedom from stereotypes.

In fact, the stuff of the past may be what keeps her from dating men closer to her age altogether. That and music, of course. And being stuck in the music they listened to in college.

Men, of course, have their reasons for dating older women , too. The year-old works in L. And that works out just fine for these young men, who often prefer relationships—whether fleeting or long-term—with cougars.

So be it if the relationship goes further. Smith has found young men to be quite enthusiastic about spending time with her, and she definitely enjoys the attention.

After all, she has worked hard for it, with ample sessions of yoga, calculated vitamin concoctions, a good diet, and even a little Botox here and there.

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Javascript must be enabled to use this site. On the other hand, some men find what they initially thought was a fleeting attraction to "cougars" ends up becoming their "type.

After all, once you've learned how to have great sex from a cougar , you'll be hard-pressed to find a better tutor, mate, or lover. Here are ten reasons so many younger men say sex with older women is so hot — all of which are excellent sex tips to try out in your own bedroom.

Before marriage, they may have had a few partners. After divorce, the notches on their bedposts may have gone up exponentially.

Cougars have been in long term relationships and marriages, which have provided years of sexual experience with one partner. Those memories are implanted into the older woman's brain and, whether good or bad, have shaped her sexual expertise.

Their self-awareness comes from years of experience and communicating with sexual partners. They've tried following expert sex tips and advice about different positions, techniques, and fetishes.

They've self-pleasured themselves for many years, and aren't afraid of communicating the stuff that really gets them purring.

If the girl doesn't know what she wants, it's hard for the man to figure it out. Cougars know exactly what they want and which buttons the guy needs to press.

And they are eager to find out the specific desires of their current boyfriend.

Cougars and black men

Cougars And Black Men

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Cougars have been in long term relationships and marriages, which have provided years of sexual experience with one partner. Those memories are implanted into the older woman's brain and, whether good or bad, have shaped her sexual expertise.

Their self-awareness comes from years of experience and communicating with sexual partners. They've tried following expert sex tips and advice about different positions, techniques, and fetishes.

They've self-pleasured themselves for many years, and aren't afraid of communicating the stuff that really gets them purring.

If the girl doesn't know what she wants, it's hard for the man to figure it out. Cougars know exactly what they want and which buttons the guy needs to press.

And they are eager to find out the specific desires of their current boyfriend. They've been taught by a variety of partners which positions and techniques turn men on.

They ask questions and figure out what makes their man roar like the king of a lion's den. What they don't know, they will research in books, movies, or on the Internet.

This takes the pressure off a man who just wants to have fun without obligations. This stress relief is a major reason sex is great with an older woman who isn't as needy or demanding.

She may have been in a marriage where sex was withheld. She won't use sex as a bargaining chip or try to get something materialistic from the younger man.

Cougars know the psychological and physical benefits of regular sex. It's a challenge to be with an attractive, sexy older lady who is physically fit and keeps herself well-groomed.

They know when to be dominant and submissive. The man senses this knowledge and power, which is very stimulating. This is a huge turn-on for men who may have been with young girls who are just learning the ropes.

She found that overall, and just as in the past, women typically marry men who are slightly older than they are.

In , the U. Census reported that women were older than their husbands by four years or more in only 7.

By contrast, men are older than their wives by four years or more in Canadian statistics are similar. Thus, in both marriages and nonpermanent relationships, the trend is that men are typically older than their female counterparts.

Though women are sometimes younger than their partners—entering "cougar" territory—, it is more likely that they will be involved with a younger man in a nonpermanent relationship, rather than a marriage.

Alarie proposes that negative reactions to cougar relationships are so strong because they violate long-standing social norms.

For example, there is an assumption in Western culture that men value youth and beauty in a partner, while women value financial stability.

Men are also understood to have stronger sex drives than women and are expected to make the first contact, while women are encouraged to wait passively for men to choose them.

Finally, there's the idea that older women are expected to be asexual. Cougar behavior turns all of these norms on their heads. In Alarie's qualitative study of 59 women who had participated in cougar relationships, results showed that women had different experiences of social norms depending on their age.

For example, older women were less likely to be affected by the social discourse about cougar relationships, were less preoccupied than younger women were about how long the relationship would last, and were less worried about whether they would miss out on having children or losing their partners as they continued to age.

The meaning of the term "cougar" seems to vary with the speaker. On the positive side, cougars are associated with gender equality, an outgrowth of the sexual revolution, and the availability of reliable contraceptives, which have given women more freedom when choosing a partner.

They are also an explicit reflection that sexuality is not necessarily connected with childbearing. Moreover, an increase in status, education, and income means that a woman can establish herself as the more powerful party in a relationship should an unequal power dynamic be desired by both partners.

However, there is a considerable negative undertone prevalent in the media, particularly on internet sites such as askmen. Cougars are seen as predators of unwary men or victims of the cultural imperative to find value in their physical appearance.

There are many reasons why women might choose to enter into relationships that give them the "cougar" label.

She may be less likely to have to eventually support her spouse physically or emotionally in their final years as his health declines, but would rather be cared for herself.

Women still do live longer than men, so it may be a rational choice to select a younger partner. Women also say that younger men appreciate their financial independence, their interest in sex, and their freedom from stereotypes.

But the drawbacks are severe: There is a social stigma, and men are often pressured by their friends and family to find someone younger.

In a cougar relationship, women are not likely to want more children when their partner does, and while many men say that their partner's higher income is a benefit, some research shows that can also lead to conflict.

Linda Lowen. Linda Lowen is an award-winning writer with more than two decades of experience speaking and writing about women's issues.

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2 Comments

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